A box filled with anguish landed in my palms today.
Suppressed feelings of dreariness emerged and down the black hole I went,
Spiraling down into obscurity.
This cocoon of gloom never strays because it knows I never will.
I may flirt with tranquility, fluttering my wings into communities of others who don’t feel like me,
My doubt is pushed past, my fear ignored,
But the many masks of a dancing fool can never truly disguise
On the outside, I am holding onto a fantasy with bleeding fingers.
All the while, Emptiness cheers.
She twists and shouts along to the music of Hopelessness.
Somberness grabs Rejection, leads her into a dip
And my nausea sets in.
The spotlight shines on Burden and Grief as they
Seemingly float across my heart,
And the crowd goes wild.
I take deep breaths and try again to ignore
The boom and bass of Brokenness’ drum as it
Creates an entrance for the shrill cymbal of Numbness.
But the whole gang erupts in celebration, and I become small.
I melt into the box and allow myself to find comfort
In the most consistent emotion I try so hard to conceal.
The numbness breathes life into me and I oblige.
It reminds me I am nothing, and I harbor it in my head.
Deeper and deeper, down into the emptiness,
Tumbling past my corpse of what was
And falling into a pit of what currently is.