Hello, Goodbye

by farrahdomid

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Goodbye to love.
Goodbye to life.
Goodbye to breathing.
Hello to mourning.
You are gone&part of me is too.
My world is now blue.
&I feel so askew.
Goodbye to you.
Goodbye to us.
Goodbye to love.
Hello to heartbreak.
This pain I can’t take.
My future seems to be at stake.
For my life I do want to end
Because all this loneliness is turning into a horrid trend.
Goodbye to happiness.
Goodbye to love songs.
Goodbye to memories.
Hello to life.

– I was rifling through my old poetry and I think I wrote this when I was about 16. Maybe 15. My poetry was so dark then. I was so depressed. I’m not as deep into my depression as I was then, but a lot of my work still applies to my life. This, though, stuck out the most. It actually completely describes this entire year so far. I’ve been introduced to a kind of pain I never thought I’d have to meet. But in that process, I met strength I thought I’d never have. I’ve had to say goodbye more times than I’ve ever had to, and these last few weeks, I’ve kind of said goodbye to myself. Hello to a new me. I’ve been speechless lately. I never know what to say, I never care to say anything. My heart has been broken from losing the most important person in my life, and with him gone, I might never be the same again. A piece of me has died. More like a chunk. I’ve been dealing it with well.

“I lost my mind long ago down that yellow brick road.”

When I wrote this, I’m sure some guy broke my heart or something but it’s clearly insignificant because I can’t even remember. This is different though. I’ll remember this pain forever for both good and bad reasons. This person has disappeared from my life and he took my peace with him. In any case, I’ve enjoyed being speechless. It’s given my life an eerie silence and I’d like to keep it that way. I don’t want to force myself to do anything. I just want to..be. So, hello and goodbye to life.

I was pretty wise then. Dark, but wise.

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