He excites me. He’s everything I’m not, everything I aspire to be, everything I dream. Nothing I expected.
His smile illuminates my skies, his kiss releases every inhibition I have…yet he calms me.
I was a runner.
I was once a set of spread wings amongst a vast sky, threatening to spend my life in a phase of exploration. I ran from everyone that seemed to pose a threat to my loose existence.
But he was grounded. It made me nervous, so naturally I ran from him too.
He chased me through the forests of my mind..fought me until my very last breath.
Until all I could do was offer him my heart after he’d given me his.
We’ve spent hours gazing into the universe of each other’s souls trying to understand what we are.
Trying to evade the hushed voices in the sky telling us we can’t be.
That we won’t be able to see, won’t be able to breathe.
I’m not sure why though because he makes me better. He makes me wiser, helps me stand tall against the creatures that refuse to set me free. He’s placed me on his shoulders to help me better view the world around me.
He’s pure. He’s real. He is I, I am him, we are one…we are unable to come undone. Unable to untangle ourselves from the coalescing that has become us…that has become our minds.
Matters of the heart tend to be so feeble.
The heart is weak. It controls, overpowers…I’ve learned it feeds off of our insecurities and incapabilities to free ourselves from treacherous, bloody avenues created by this vessel.
The mind, on the other hand…oh, the mind. A much stronger entity, you see. The mind is brave and beautiful. It’s bright light shining towards you. My mind helped me understand why I love you, why I need you…it allows me to accept you and your gentle touch, you and your strong disposition.
My heart made me run, made me fear, nearly brought me to tears..had me shivering in corners and alleys…but my mind..Your mind. Our minds…has done something completely out of the ordinary.
I haven’t even begun to taste you. We’ve teetered on the surface of knowing..but what I’ve learned sent my mind into a world I’ve never explored. A world I didn’t realize existed.
It’s a world of reason, patience, and acceptance. A world unknown to me for my heart took me to places filled with insecurity..I was stuck in a place that had no trust, no cure for my insanity.
Yet all the while, you’ve held this key to a place..that welcomed us with hovering, protecting arms..and here we are. Shining and rising, fighting under the beautiful lighting of a love we’d been hiding.
May I please have a moment with certain parts of you? I’d like to get to them too.
Just a few minutes with your laugh,
I want to understand what amuses you…what intrigues you.
I’d like to undress you mentally and discover where you’ve been. Then I’ll take your hand and we can discuss future destinations…places only I can take you. &I really hope you’ll let me.
But then I hope I’ll let me too…I have a habit of unraveling, turning a dangerous shade of black..never turning back, holding my mind hostage and deciding to attack..
But then there’s you. There’s the things you do..the way we grew, how you’re so special..how you’re so true. I’ll enter this place with you and not have a single second thought.
Just promise to love me eternally…because I’m not sure what I would do if you left and never returned to me.