To An Old Friend

I received an interesting e-mail last night. An old friend reached out to me, told me she’d read my blog, and that she felt sad for me. She said the things I write are inexplicably miserable, and that she wishes my life wasn’t so terrible. She didn’t say terrible, but that’s basically what was being said. Normally, I’d probably be really offended, fire back a witty response, but I chose not to dignify her idiocy with a response. I saved the e-mail though. I’d like to read it from time to time. Not to torture myself, but to remind myself that my words are, in fact, quite powerful. In all that she said, I actually felt like I was receiving a compliment I often write about loneliness, anger, sadness, heartbreak, unhappiness, or depression, and I’m okay with that. I’m okay with sharing that. These are all emotions we feel all the time. We are in a constant state of emotion and feeling, and I simply don’t ignore it. I allow myself to feel…and then I express. I didn’t know that by doing this, it meant my life is sad. My life isn’t sad at all. My life has sad moments, but those moments don’t make me. They also don’t break me. I enjoy writing about darkness. I enjoy writing about the gritty parts of life, the times when we’d like to give up, kill ourselves…the times when we feel defeated. I like going that far. It doesn’t mean I’m a depressed woman sitting in front of a computer just crying as I type. This is my relief. This is my escape, but it’s also my work. I’m building. I’m practicing. I’m making mistakes so that I can learn from them. I’m living. Me writing…is how I live. It’s how I survive. Obviously, her e-mail struck a nerve because I’m dedicating a post to it, but more than anything, I’m slightly bothered that she saw my work as a cry for help instead of what it is…my art. My livelihood. This is how I’m able to be myself. I’ve seen some dark days, as we all have, and it’s easy for me to pull from those moments. Whether the things I write about are past or present emotions, it really doesn’t matter. What matters is that I’m getting it out. So, if you’re reading this, which you probably are, this is my response to you. I am sorry you feel I’m sad, but I’m happy my words stuck with you. I’m happy they elicited such passion from you…such a sentiment that you actually went out of your way to say those things to me. Thank you for your sympathy, but please hold on to it. I’m content with myself. I’m comfortable in my momentary sadness, and I have a lot of courage to be able to face my demons time and time again…and I’m also courageous because I share my strife. So, really, thank you. I’m a good writer, and you’ve clarified that. I hope you’re well.


5 thoughts on “To An Old Friend

  1. farrah, I love your writing, you know this we’ve spoken here often, unfortunately, we run into others who have difficulty with our authentic selves which you and I choose to reveal here in our blogs. I love how you responded to her and it was good she told you how she felt. Many in my life just kept their mouths closed choosing not to hear the truth from me as to how my life is instead of how they think it is. I for one am grateful for your honesty here. Keep up the good work and excellent writing. -Kate

    1. Thank you so much 🙂 I understand it may be hard for some to fully comprehend what we do, but I wish it wouldn’t come off as something that it isn’t. I’m glad you appreciate my raw emotion..&Im grateful that you and I relate to each so much. I’m very thankful for your open arms&your great words..Thanks again 🙂

      1. you are welcome any time. If you ever feel the need to vent and you don’t wish to do so publicly, please feel free to send it to me privately. Life is about sharing both the good and the bad feelings and all. Have a beautiful day.

      2. Wow, Kate. That’s really great of you and I’d love to extend that same thing to you. I didn’t even know there were private messages here! WordPress has allowed me to communicate to really amazing people, and you are at the top of that list. I hope you have an awesome night 🙂

      3. From your dashboard you can find the comments people make which will display their personal email address, you can email me privately using that email address below my name in the comment. My night is very awesome, I hope the same for you as well.

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