Horizons

by farrahdomid

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Since I’ve been away,
There seems to be a problem with
Communication..&I can no longer read you.
I can no longer hear you..
Just your silent breath
On the other end of a phone
That is slowly sucking
The life out of us.
We don’t connect as we once did,
No more late night laughs..
Late night anything for that matter.
You were once my reason
For wanting to breathe and exist..
And yet, I find myself
Absorbing a much cleaner air.
I find that I can sleep at night,
My thoughts aren’t clouded
With…replayed conversations,
Things I should’ve said,
Things I’d like to take back..
But since I’ve been away,
I’ve missed your touch.
I miss the way you smell,
The way your mouth twitches when you yell..
&I’ve always been able to tell
When you were reaching the end of your rope..
So I dropped my world
&I picked up yours..
I tasted your salty tears,
Took your pain on as mine..
But for the first time in awhile,
I feel like I’ve been set free.
Physically anyway..
I don’t believe there is anything
In this world that can keep you
Off of my mind
Or out of my life,
And sometimes..I wonder what it is about you.
Why I continue to be so enamored
By your..everything.
A part of me hates you..
Wishes I could walk away
&never look back.
Yet, if I couldn’t hear your voice
Or see your face, touch your skin
&breathe you in
For the length of a lifetime,
I might just lose myself.
Our hearts lie in each other..
Our lives are wrapped around one another..
But, these nights that I’ve been
Able to sleep freely
Breathe deeply
Without being polluted
By the guilt of feeling like
I’m not good enough..
Has been relieving.
I can’t live my life without you,
It’s something I would never even dare to dream.
Yet, I do believe
That while I’m away,
We will have to work on
Being more connected..
I know it’s something we can achieve,
With simple effort&hearts worn on our sleeves..
Because I’m slowly starting to understand
That a life right next to you..
Taking you in and leaving my life in the palm of your hand..
Is a life filled with sorrow..
&A life that won’t result in us being friends.

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