Someone I Don’t Know
Someone I don’t know died today. Perhaps they went peacefully, their spirit slowly being released from their body and their last breath being taken. Or, they died violently. They could have been thrown from a windshield during a head on collision. However that person went, they’re now a fading presence. That’s the eerie thing about death. When you lose someone, they’re still there. They lurk in the shadows quietly, watching you grieve or mourn, or move on with life normally. They live in the breeze that blows through leaves on trees, reminding you that a part of them is still holding on. When someone dies, they remain alive through hoarded memories. You seem them at the table on Thanksgiving, and imagine them laughing, eating, being themselves. You long for their presence, so the presence becomes more and more real. Death is quite tricky. It’s one of the hardest things to deal with, and I can’t help but wonder why I was given another chance at life while they’d just been evicted. Their lease on life was up and the landlord didn’t even give a warning. That’s it, you’re out. Did they fulfill their purpose? Did they apologize to the person they wronged? Were they able to achieve true happiness? Death reminds you how short life is. It reminds you how time runs out a lot quicker than we think. It brings to mind the image of an hourglass…slowly, but surely thinning out and become nothing but a realization that you are now nothing, and have nothing; time’s up. Someone I don’t know died today, and a part of me envies them. They are now free of obligations and emotions. They no longer have to live up to certain expectations, fulfill invisible requirements. The part of me that envies them imagines it being easier to be a rotting corpse rather than an actual, living person who is tired of life winning, versus me taking home the trophy. And then the part of me that understand the importance of life wants to live life greatly and amazingly so that person won’t feel like I’m a wasted body. Someone I don’t know died today, and as weird as it may be, that makes me really sad.