Submarine

by farrahdomid

I’d like to submerge myself
In a pool of drugs.
Get doped up and shove my
Problems under a rug,
Under a shield of protection
That can never be compromised,
Under a veil that could
Never show the darkness that lies in my eyes…
Each night, before I lay,
I cry and I cry
Of my mournful days..
I wish for an existence
That didn’t make me have to obey
The rules of ingrate people..
A weak union made of lies that
Cowers behind the promise of
Being equal..
I’d like to just be me,
But it doesn’t seem to be enough.
I’d like to just be free..
To fly like a bird, and swim in the open sea.
But reality just won’t let me be..
It clings on shamelessly,
&invades my dreams..
The only place I’ve been left with to hide
Is inside of this magical&whimsical ride…
There are swirls of different colors,
With..neon lights&enhanced sounds
That just make my ears feel smothered,
&all the while, reality hovers
Trying desperately to reel me back in with the others..
But…it’s simply too late,
My veins have turned black..
My heart beats fast&my eyes roll back.
My perception of reality is under attack.
&For once in my life, I choose not to fight.
I’d prefer to remain useless&out of sight..
Because the fire inside of me that burns so bright
Will lead me to do things
That just aren’t right..
So instead of trying to save the world,
Of even myself..
I think I’ll settle to be the girl
Who hides under a rug,
Shielded by the thick coating of this mind-reeling drug.

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