An Unrequited Craze

by farrahdomid

“You’re crazy,” he said,

Sending my mind on a quest of mixed emotions..

Eyes wide

Mouth agape

Shoulders slumped..

I fired back quick-witted responses..

Annihilating each; none seeming worthy enough to regain victory post defeat.

Defeat that could only be described as heartbreak.

You’re a beautiful melody lagging behind the summers haze,

You’re the streak of light bursting into a blind-shielded window..

Begging to be seen, heard

Embraced.

Accepted

You’re the heartbreak that threatened to crush every single one of my bones

The malice dripping from your every word was quite apparent

But ignoring it seemed to be the only option

Seemed to be the only thing keeping me from losing the few marbles you left me,

Keeping me from my reality.

The harsh cold truth of the love you lacked

A special kind of love you lacked for me that I’ve tried so hard to win..

“You’re crazy,” he said

And I so badly wanted to shout and scream and plead guilty to the accusations written in what appeared to be big, bold, letters.

Yes, I’m crazy

Yes, you’ve made me this way

No, I am not ashamed

No, I’m not going to ever change

And neither will you.

In that moment, I became aware of the mental clock that’s been ticking, ticking, ticking…

Reminding me of the wasted time

Wasted effort

Wasted tears

years..

Fear.

I may not be deserving of many things,

But you are not deserving of me.

“You’re crazy,” he said

All day, all night

These words reverberated

Yet, nothing resonated.

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